Written on September 12, 2014 at 5:00 am , by Janet Taylor
We’re used to hearing celebrities bare all in interviews and watching them bare all on movie screens. But this month, when news broke of hackers using the iCloud to leak nude photos of stars like Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton, many were shocked. How did the hackers pull it off? What other information could be hacked into? Who’s at risk? Aside from the obvious concerns about such a privacy breach, however, another issue loomed. Why take a naked photo?
Maybe it’s because I don’t even like to pose for, much less share, a photo of myself in a bathing suit sans cover-up. So I can’t help but wonder why folks want naked selfies.
One group worth approaching to answer that question: teenagers. Most teens sext to maintain or ignite a relationship, or are pressured into the behavior. A recent study indicated that more than 50% of college students sent sexually explicit texts—with or without photos—as minors. (About a quarter admitted to sending sexually explicit photographs.) These numbers would indicate that among young people sexting is increasing in prevalence. In fact, it has tripled or quadrupled in some ages and categories of teens over the past five years. Boys and girls sext at the same rate, but boys forward more.
As moms and dads, we need to shift our focus to parenting in the digital age. We need to talk to our children and teens about sending pictures, receiving pictures and passing them on. We need to tell them that not everyone is doing it and cyberspace does not have a button for forgiveness. Images that are deleted can be retrieved, and pictures that are sent can be passed along.
The message to our children and teens should be clear and consistent. Do not ever post or send a naked or half-naked selfie to anyone. Ever. They should delete images that are sent to them and not forward them. I want to remind young people that there are many ways to feel good about yourself: practice kindness to others, volunteer in schools and communities, simply contribute to the common good. But keep your naked selfie covered.
Have you talked to your child about sexting? Do you think your son or daughter would ever do it? Post a comment and tell me.
Got a question for Dr. Janet? Email her at email@example.com.
Categories: Family & Technology, Momster, On My Mind, Parenting Teens & Tweens, The Sex Talk | Tags: celebrity photos hacked, dr. janet, internet, Janet Taylor, Jennifer Lawrence nude photos, naked selfies and teens, photos, Selfie, sexting, social media, teens sexting
Written on July 20, 2012 at 4:17 pm , by Christina Tynan-Wood
I receive a lot of high-tech gear to try out. Some of it I like. Some of it I don’t. And some of it wheedles its way into our lives and becomes part of the family. It’s usually easy to predict what devices will do this: those that let us enjoy entertainment together or communicate better. But recently a goofy little doodad I expected to be useful only while traveling has become a device we will all miss–if my kids will let me send it back.
It started innocently enough. In advance of our recent road trip, I agreed to try out a Verizon Jetpack 4G LTE Mobile Hotspot MiFi 4620L ($50 with a contract). This pocket-sized device is a Wi-Fi hotspot. It connects to Verizon’s fast 4G LTE cellular network and allows you to connect up to 10 devices so everyone can surf the Net from their own device: Laptops, tablets, Kindles, cell phones that are reaching their data limit, whatever you have. (The plans are explained here.) I thought it would make our long drive to the mountains more pleasant if the teens could get online. And whoever wasn’t driving could get a little work done in the car. It certainly worked, the car trip was peaceful and productive for all of us. It even saved us when our hotel room didn’t have Wi-Fi.
What I didn’t expect was that this little device would be so wildly popular while we were at home.
Two weeks into this summer, I shut off the cable TV and Internet to our house. I was tired of arguing with my kids over screen time. I gave them two weeks to work out a reasonable schedule that didn’t involve spending all day in front of a screen. At the end of two weeks, they were both still “working on it” (or so they said) so I cancelled everything.
Of course, this left us all bereft of video entertainment. But this was fun for a while. We all read more. We went to the beach in the evenings. But then my sister recommended a British detective show I hadn’t seen. This genre is a particular weakness of my mine and husband’s and we wanted to see it. So he and I snuck off to our room, connected our Roku to the MiFi and watched. It worked beautifully! The show didn’t hiccup, stall, or pause at all. We were back online! But it was our little secret.
We got all the way through–over the course of a week or so–four episodes of our new favorite TV show before Ava stormed our room demanding to know how we were watching TV. We giggled like schoolchildren while she studied our rig and figured it out. Then she demanded the password, went back to her room, and logged on from her Kindle Fire.
Ever since, the MiFi has been at the center of a family game of Spy vs. Spy. I shut it off and put it in my purse when I leave the house so my teens can’t watch TV all and surf the Net all day. But when I get home, my little pickpockets go looking for it so they can log on. Then they hide it from me. When they aren’t looking, I steal it back. And then we do it all again. It has made getting onto the Net a game–so far mostly a good humored one.
But now, the loan agreement is over and I have to send the MiFi back to Verizon. And neither of my teens is talking. They don’t usually agree about anything. But on this, they have formed a pact of silence–refusing to relinquish its whereabouts. That’s okay. I’m up for the challenge. I’ll find it.