Written on July 3, 2014 at 8:00 am , by Rosalind Wiseman
Since I moved to Colorado from Washington, D.C., almost two years ago, I have grown to love summer. First off, there’s no humidity. As a native Washingtonion, I thought living in the wet, moldy sponge that is D.C. from June through September was normal. What’s more, every day here is beautiful, there aren’t annoying bugs everywhere, ice cream is plentiful and people are in a good mood. The only complaint I have: The school ends the third week of May. That is just way too early.
To be fair, no matter how hard we parents work all year, for our kids, summer should be a time to sleep in late, relax, roam around, and hang out with friends. But in order for parents to not get really irritated and start walking around the house muttering about how lazy and slovenly their children are, we have to have an agreement about how summer is going to go down.
So three weeks into their vacation, I told my boys: “I want you to relax and have fun and neither of us want me constantly nagging you or raging at you (“raging” is the word my boys use to describe my very calm requests). So here is how I think we have the best chance of accomplishing these very important goals.” Then I shared with them my “Summer Code of Conduct.” Perhaps these rules to relax by will help you preserve your sanity this season.
1. If you want to kick back. . . don’t leave cups and dishes around the house. This is especially true if you have eaten cereal and/or drank chocolate milk with an inch of chocolate sludge at the bottom and left it wherever you finished it. This is also true with clothes (dirty or clean), technology accessories like ear buds or headphones, new or used tissue paper, sports equipment, art projects and any small pets. You won’t be able to relax because all of these actions will automatically result in your parent flipping out—as in making you clean everything you have spread around the house and nagging you as you do it).
2. To be left alone. . . you must read a book of your choosing, outside if possible, and enjoy it. Your parents will leave you in peace while you read—unless they see that you are hiding a handheld device behind the book. If you are, we get to make you do additional chores around the house such as loading the dishwasher (see #1), folding laundry, taking out garbage and more.
3. When hanging out indoors with your friends. . . know the house rules. If you’re hanging out at another person’s house, you are expected to follow the other family’s policies without argument. Likewise, your friends are expected to follow our family rules when they are at our house. If not, your parent will make it clear to your friends what the family rules are.
4. When hanging out outdoors with friends . . . respect the freedom we give you. Summer is time to spontaneously hang out with buddies. But that will happen much more easily if you check in with your parents on a consistent basis. So when your parents ask you by any method where you are and when you will be home you need to answer concretely. For example, “Soon” and “In a little while” are not appropriate answers to a parents’ text message about when you will be returning home.
5. While improving your video game or tech skills . . . Watch the clock. I know video games aren’t all bad. They just can’t take over your life or be a major source of conflict between siblings. So each child can have ninety minutes per day on the device of their choosing for fun. Basic necessities must be taken care of before engaging any technology, which are defined but not limited to putting on clothes, brushing teeth and hair, and taking care of any pet needs. All technology activity must end an hour before bed (to assure a good night rest) and devices be charged in parent’s bedroom. Other projects involving technology are excluded from the ninety minute limit.
6. If you want to impress me. . . . tell me how you plan on giving back this summer. A couple times a month over the summer, the family and whatever friends want to join in, will do community service together. Examples are making dinner for a children’s or teen shelter, painting a family homeless center, gardening, mowing lawns or getting groceries for an older person. When I know you’re up to some good, I can kick back and enjoy summer too.
Have you laid down some rules of the road for your kids this summer? Post a comment and tell me what they are below.
Rosalind Wiseman is the author of the new best seller Masterminds and Wingmen as well as Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads. For more info, go to rosalindwiseman.com. Read more of Rosalind’s parenting advice, here.
Do you have a parenting question? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Written on July 10, 2013 at 5:42 pm , by Christina Tynan-Wood
Ah, summer. The beach, sunscreen, kickball in the street, plenty of time to wander the neighborhood with a best friend. Oh, wait. That was my childhood. My own teens seem to see summer as a time to stay in and stare at a screen. And that means I’m working from home to see that they don’t do that. But not all screen-staring is bad. In fact, here are a couple of sites I’m encouraging my teens to stare at.
My daughter Ava took guitar lessons for a couple of years. She enjoys music but the lessons were a hassle. We drove across town at the end of the day at a time when she was tired and I needed to make dinner so we could spend 30 minutes in a lesson. Getting there and back took longer than the lesson. When she wanted to quit, I didn’t put up much of a fight. But she likes music and needs a teacher. So when TakeLessons.com sent me a note to explain that this service would help me find a local teacher, I checked it out — hoping for one she could walk to. Takelessons.com didn’t have a teacher near me. But it did have a better option: virtual music lessons. I quickly roped Ava into trying it. She loved the idea and sat down in front of her laptop with her guitar at the scheduled hour. She met up with her teacher, Gordie, on Skype. He asked a few questions about her ability, tested her answers by asking her to play. And when he’d judged her level, asked her what she wanted to learn. She immediately named her two favorite songs “Therapy” and “Lullabies” by All Time Low. Gordie, unfazed by this not-a-classic request, impressed us both by Googling the songs, listening to a few bars, determining which of the two she might be able to play, and breaking it down into cords for her – all in just a few minutes. He threw some fingering cords up on her screen and walked her through the easier of the two songs until she could play it passably well. He told her she would have to learn a new cord, which he showed her, to master the other song. And the two said goodbye and signed off. I didn’t have to drive anywhere! I didn’t even put on shoes. It was cheaper than our in-town lessons and the instructor was better. And the lesson took only as long as the lesson, no traffic jams. But it had another benefit beyond those obvious ones. Ava didn’t have to jump up, pack her stuff, and get in the car when the lesson was over. So she kept right on playing for another hour until she had mastered that cord. Now she wants another lessons so she can learn her other favorite song. That’s screen time I will gladly pony up for — once a week.
TakeLessons.com, 30 min: $20
Summer camp can be expensive and require a lot of driving to and from. I just can’t do that every week in the summer, much as I like that it when my kids get out and do something productive. But if they stay in and do something productive, I don’t have to worry about the heat, transportation, or paying for camp. To that end, Google and MAKE magazine launched Maker Camp, a free virtual summer camp for teens aged 13-18 years. It started Monday and runs through August 16 on Google+. It’s bound to appeal to this age set: Aside from it involving their favorite screen-staring activity, it’s just a bit geeky and will have them building DIY projects to trick out their bike, build a rocket-propelled toy car, or play with computers. Every week they post new projects so, it’s a great, ongoing answer to that idle lament of summer, “I’m bored!” And it’s not just canned videos. It’s led by a team of DIY obsessed counselors. Kids follow along at home using Google Hangout’s video chat feature. All they need is a computer with an Internet connection. Every week ends with Field Trip Friday — a virtual field trip conducted via Google+ Hangout (past trips include NASA and Ford’s Innovation Lab).
Maker Camp, free
Written on July 11, 2012 at 2:25 pm , by Christina Tynan-Wood
Looking for something useful for your teenager to do this summer? Me too. Mine are both too old for most camps but too young to get a job bagging groceries or flinging burgers. And it’s starting to look like this is going to be another long summer spent arguing over how much time they should spend playing video games, sleeping during the day, and watching TV. So when the folks at Best Buy sent me an email suggesting I send my teen to a Geek Squad Summer Academy where they would learn to use technology to ignite their creativity, I dropped what I was doing to see if it was possible. Was it too late? Is there one near me?
It turns out I’d have to drive a prohibitive distance to get my kids into one of these. However, these camps have expanded since the first camp in 2007, when it was one city for 300 students. This year there are locations in more than 20 states serving 10,000 students. So there might be one near you.
The camps work with local outfits like the Girls Scouts and Boys and Girls Clubs to bring volunteer Geek Squad Agents to town to help demystify gadgets and inspire teens and tweens to be creative with technology. “The special expertise of our Geek Squad Agents makes them uniquely qualified to help kids learn and love technology,” George Sherman, senior vice president of Best Buy Services said in the press release. “We are excited to help foster our Junior Agents’ desire to use technology as a tool to help achieve the dream of becoming whatever you want to be.”
If there isn’t one in your area, you can submit a proposal to bring one to town. But there are still openings in lots of locations. Go to the Geek Squad Summer Academy website to find out if there is one near you. Then register your student or submit a proposal.