close ad

Yours, Mine, Ours: Balancing Personal Needs and Marriage

Downtime Disputes

Conflict zone: Sure, leisure time is great for bonding, and vacations for recording priceless digital moments. But what relaxes you makes him antsy, and vice versa. You like sleeping in, he's up at dawn; you prefer fine dining and nice hotels while he likes campfire cooking and sleeping under the stars.

Keeping the peace: Start taking turns making decisions on how you spend your downtime, whether it's weekends or a vacation -- and be a good sport when your spouse is calling the shots. "It shouldn't be a big deal not going to your favorite restaurant or the destination of your dreams," Betchen says. "The point is to get away from the daily grind and enjoy quality time together, which builds intimacy." Even better, try to agree on activities and places that appeal to you both. And be adventurous -- use your leisure time to try doing something new together, like windsurfing or wine tasting. You'll share some thrills and maybe even discover a new passion you can pursue as a couple.