By Cynthia Hanson
Moving is one of life's most stressful experiences. But just talking about it can be stressful too, because the discussion may stir up feelings of loss and anxiety -- or resentment, especially if you've already relocated for his career or vice versa.
For a single-income family or with a big promotion that's just too good to pass up, moving may be a no-brainer. But for dual-income couples, the decision to accept or decline such a promotion is more complicated and may hinge on a variety of factors. Can the so-called trailing spouse find a comparable job in the new location? If you turn down the move, can you keep your current job without suffering any consequences? What's the cost of living in the new area? How much will relocating disrupt your and your children's lives? Will you have friends or family nearby? Will there be more conflict between the two of you if you move or stay put?
The reality is, the more established and happy you are in your current life, the harder it will be to start over and build a new one someplace else. "A compromise is difficult, but couples need to be mindful of the big picture and the best interests of the entire family," says Gordon-Rabinowitz. "Relocating may mean that one spouse has to sacrifice for the other, but it should be seen not as a reason for resentment but as a loving gift."