You can't sleep for fear that one of you will be laid off. He's so stressed from putting in extra hours to save his job that he can't eat. You're both sick of each other's complaining.
Emotional Rescue: Put your money worries on the table (in private; the kids don't need to know how upset you are). Stick to why you're feeling stressed (rumored layoffs, shrinking college fund) and save other subjects (the grocery list, carpool schedule) for another time. No matter what, don't accuse each other, which leads to pointless, escalating arguments. Have these conversations regularly—maybe once a week—but the other days, skip the stress talk unless you need to decide something specific. "Obsessively talking about an issue creates anxiety that builds on itself," says Rabinowitz.