His self-esteem went south when he got laid off and had to take a lower-paying job outside his field. Or you're the one pounding the pavement and wondering what just happened.
Emotional Rescue: When the going gets tough, the smart marriage move is to bring on compassion—probably when you least feel like doing so. Don't grill your husband about whether he sent out resumes. Instead, ask exactly what kind of help he needs, then offer it. If you're the one who lost your job, you should expect your husband to deliver the same tender loving care to you. But also turn to friends. You need to acknowledge your sadness, fears, and frustrations, but don't let yourself wallow in the feelings. Instead, reframe your thinking: The recession and pink slip are nobody's fault, and no matter how much you loved your job, it was what you did, not who you are.