I entered rehab without a true resolution to stay sober because I still didn't want to stop using. But walking into the treatment program and seeing people my age—who sounded like me and felt like me—affected me greatly. My thinking that "I'm too young to have a problem" was smashed when I saw that I was no different from the others there. I began to realize I might not be as in control as I thought.
My big breakthrough happened about fifteen days later. During a therapy session, a counselor looked me straight in the eye and asked, "You really think you are going to leave here and go live in a college dorm and stay sober?" "Sure, no problem," I replied, same as I always had. But after leaving her office, I went back to my room, sat on my bed, and felt a sensation in the pit of my stomach that I never experienced. I'd spent the last several years thinking I was right, always believing my own lies. This time—for the first time in my life—I knew I was wrong. I could no longer deny that my beliefs and actions got me to this place and that my ideas were not going to get me out of this. I needed to ask for help.