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I Love You -- Now Go Away: The Push and Pull of Life with Teens

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Keep Her Close

What's Up with Your Teen When your daughter says you're ruining her whole life or challenges your rules on everything from curfew to clothing, it feels like she's personally rejecting you as her mother. She's not -- she's simply rejecting her status as a kid. And your trying to control her life only makes her more intractable, says Bartell.

How to Deal Stay firm, yet be open to new ways of doing things. "Teens who feel that their parents are usually fair and reasonable are more likely to stay connected than those whose parents draw a hard-and-fast line," says Bartell. When it comes to family traditions, keep the values but try to work around everyone's changing needs. "Our family has always done something together every week -- going to a movie, watching someone's soccer game, working together on a home renovation project," says Satterwhite. "The kids may squawk, but they know it's not optional." Maybe you can't have dinner together every night because your son's garage band can practice only at that time. Ask what he thinks would work instead -- maybe Sunday brunch. Then relax and enjoy.

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