Is It Ever Okay to Cheat?

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One of the greatest lessons that parents try to teach their children is honesty. Winners never cheat and cheaters never win. There is no game or test or outcome that is worth going back on your word or compromising your integrity. So when I hear revered sports figures acknowledge or minimize their role in cheating, it's disheartening. Winners never cheat? Try telling that to the New England Patriots and their fans. They're going to Superbowl 2015 while still defending themselves in DeflateGate. For those of you unaware of DeflateGate, it basically involves a preponderance of deflated balls for one team that provided an unfair advantage. The situation begs the question: Is it ever okay to cheat?

Just the other day, in a BBC interview, Lance Armstrong was questioned about his infamous ban from racing after doping. When asked if he'd do it all again, in regards to doping, he said: “If I was racing in 2015, no, I wouldn’t do it again because I don’t think you have to . . . If you take me back to 1995, when it was completely and totally pervasive, I would probably do it again. People don’t like to hear that.” With all due respect to Lance Armstrong, I have a question: Huh? Did he actually say that he would cheat again? Yes, he did.

I have wiped tears from the cheeks of every single one of my four daughters because of a game that was hard fought but lost and other disappointing outcomes. As competitive athletes, they didn’t just learn to win, they learned to lose in spite of their best efforts. Cheating was not an option or part of the game plan.

To reinforce that message with our kids, it may be time to take another look at what cheating really is. One definition of being cheated is to be deprived of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud. We often look at the victim with pity. Why not flip the script? Perhaps it’s time to look at what the cheater loses as we teach our children the lessons of playing and losing fairly. How sweet could that victory truly be? Let's show our kids who the real winners are.

What lessons do you teach your children about cheating? Post a comment below and let us know.

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DrJanet

Janet Taylor, MD, MPH, a mother of four, is a psychiatrist in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @drjanet. Read more of her posts here.

Got a question for Dr. Janet? Email her at askdrjanet@familycircle.com.