In the time since I wrote the “Reality Check” essay for the May issue, my candid answers to any questions the kids pose has made an impression on them. Now anytime one of them inadvertently asks a question that has me using s-e-x in the answer, they hold up their hands and say, “No, that’s okay! I’m good!” That’s in public. In private, they still come to me and ask me the Big Deals. They know I’ll tell them the truth.

Trying to figure out your true role as a stepmom is tough. My role feels ever-changing, and isn’t the same for each kid. A stepmom I admire once told me that she always strives to be the kids’ advocate, not their disciplinarian. As a custodial stepmom, that isn’t always possible for me, but it’s a really good guideline. The best things happen when I have that spirit behind my interactions with the kids.

Meanwhile, I now have a standing Friday morning date with my husband to grocery shop – at a different supermarket.

- JM Randolph

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